Domestic Abuse Stories from Older Women – share your stories
The following was a post from an older reader. She has been looking for support from other women in hear age group. Feel free to share, lets help each other.
Reader Post:
I stumbled upon your website tonight and became emotional as I read through the many posts submitted by those now in the throes of domestic violence and those who have found the strength to leave. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 35 years until the day I left (six years ago), when, as I read somewhere in these blogs, ‘the fear of staying became greater than the fear of leaving.’ With my children’s unconditional support I have made a life for myself and participate in an older women’s domestic violence support group here in Minnesota. So very few services exist for older victims. I feel fortunate for the support I have found. I’d like to read posts from other older women about their experiences. Thank you for caring. Allie
This entry was posted on February 20, 2008 at 2:29 am and is filed under domestic violence, domestic violence stories older women, domestic violence-healing. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
February 21, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Allie,
WOW……. YOU GO GIRL !!!!!
What great courage it took for you to make a NEW and better life
for YOU after all those years of marriage. !!!!!
BRAVO !!!
xo xo
Deb
March 13, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Hi Allie,
I am a 53 yr old female who made the mistake of falling in love with the wrong man. this was my second marriage and unfortunately my second abusive marriage. My first lasted 17 years and I got out because i couldn’t stand the pain anymore, plus my children were beginning to be abused at that point. So i left him and started life new. After being divorced for 11 years, I met this man, who was wonderful in the beginning. We dated for nearly a year and a halfe, however, toward the end of the dating period, he began to show his true colors and I lost custody of my 16 year old son, then I could not handle his abuse anymore and left him. However, he managed to find where i lived and started sending flowers, presents and letters apologizing and telling me he had entered into therapy and begged me to come back. Like a dummy I believed him. I went back to him and we got married 2 month later, which was a big mistake, because the day I said I do, became the day I almost died, as he started choking me, calling me names and telling me that I was to blame for my daughter putting a restraining ordedr against him. He also isolated me from my children, any friends I had and would not let me go out of the house while he was at work, as I became his property. Finally two months later we got into a huge fight, he took and pushed me down onto the floor and bed, then shoved me into walls and into the corner of a closet door, where I lost consciousness. When i woke up I thought I had died, but he was there standing over me crying, then he wanted me to forgive him and tried to force himself upon me sexually, and he choked me again. When he left the next morning for work, I made sure he wasn’t coming home, and I called the domestic violence hotline and left for a shelter. I lost everything I had because of him, my self respect, my children, my pets, my hobbies and my collections of things that meant the world to me. I lived in a shelter for 2 months, then I found housing with roommates, I am now living happy, share my experience with others, write poetry about my life and just got my first book published. Oh yeah, When I was in the shelter I had to take public transportation to the library so that I could continue my online classes as I am trying to obtain my degree in education, I had to take the chance daily of running into him, but I survived, now I’m in my own place with roomates, have my own computer, making a 4.0 in my classes and living life day to day. The abuse I endured from him did take its toll as I do have 4 herniated disk in my cervical and lumbar regions of my back and I am fixing to undergo knee replacement surgery, but i look at it, that I survived, I am one of the lucky ones of domestic violence who survived, lived to tell their story and undergoing the operation is nothing compared to what I have been through. If anyone is in this situation they should do their best to get out, as staying can be deadly. I am one of the lucky ones and I thank god everyday for giving me the sense, the courage and the ability to seek help when I needed it the most. I also Thank God for programs that are set up to help those of us who need the help when we need it the most and for those who care. My life is back on track, I have my children in my life, I’m going to school and maintaining a 4.0 and I have my first book of poetry published. Life can’t be anybetter than this! Thank God I got away from my abuser. Yes, I do worry i will see him at one point, but that’s why i have a cell phone and know how to call for help.
Raven
April 29, 2008 at 12:47 am
I will pray for you as a survivor and healing and making your way and you can
pray for me I have been in counseling for a year am married 24 years
still married he is going tocounseling I have coome a long way and do not accept
any more more crap but I am not blind and will continure to go for counsiling
I am still healing
May 30, 2008 at 12:11 am
Hi, I am a survivor of domestic violence- I am only 24. I have my own blog here on wordpress. It is the ‘domestic violence survivors blog’.
I have created my blog to break the taboo, and tell it like it is, however graphic.
you go allie! wave those hands and shout ”i am a survivor, not a victim”!
hugs forever, Caroline.
August 11, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Hi Allie,
Congrats on finding the courage to leave him. We are better than this and nobody deserves any kind of abuse. I’m happy that you were able to leave some are not so fortunate.