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Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog, The Last Straw. My goal with this blog is to help motivate and inspire women in the days following leaving a battered women’s shelter and are on thier own for the first time in a long time.
As much as you don’t want to hear the F word, it is the first thing you must do to move on, Forgive the worst one of all … YOU!. I don’t mean to say you are the worst one but I felt that I was to blame for all of it. After all I stayed when he passed out drunk. I stayed after the first time he hit me. I stayed when he tried to kill me. But my life changed when I finally began to forgive myself. It doesn’t happen in a day, all better, I have forgiven myself. It has taken years but since the first glimmer of my own forgiveness I have begun to heal. Honestly, I forgave my abuser in my mind, not to his face, long before I even forgave myself.
The months following the removal of my abusive husband were some of the toughest. The silence was defeaning. Even though I didn’t exist living in the home with my husband this new feeling was scary.
It has been over 10 years now and looking back being alone for so long was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. It gave me the first chance in my life to get to clear out my head and get strong day by day. Living with domestic violence day and day you become so used to the cruelty. It was difficult but the time alone allowed me to get rid of all the crap my husband had filled my head with over the years, you are fat, ugly, no man will ever want you. Just insert the crap you were fed. Again, being able to clear my head was the best gift of all.
Deep inside is a really strong woman to have made it this far.Let go of all of your guilt, it serves no purpose in your recovery. You don’t have to tell the world your story, but you have to admit to yourself. That is the first step in your healing.
If you have been away from the abuse please comment and share what you do to keep motivated and able to deal with your past. If you don’t deal with it, it will come back to haunt you. Trust me on that one.
Love & Peace,
I am so proud of you, I really am.
Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
Voice: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 800-799-SAFE (