Why do women often dismiss that feeling in their stomach saying something is wrong? I have done it, we all have at one time or another. If you dismiss that you shouldn’t have eaten another helping of that desert, you will survive. But, if you are dismissing the way your mate is treating you, or that he makes you feel uncomfortalbe, I urge you to listen to that gut instinct. That is why we have that instinct, to warn us from danger.
The biggest warning sign that I dismissed was all of the missed dates before we lived together. And all the times he came over and fell asleep really fast. I knew he had been drinking but ignored the signs of just how much. One of my biggest gut feelings I would later regret ignoring.
I have posted some of the tops signs your mate may become abusive. What signs do you feel you knew were wrong, but dismissed anyway? Your sharing will help other women.
Here are a few of the many warning signs:
Verbal Abuse/Mood Swings/Hypersensitive
He will start by calling you a dirty name or an idiot. After he apologizes, you will let it go. After a while you will tune him out which will let him know that he can continue with this behavior. One moment he will be loving and the next you will do something that will make him fly off the handle. Take the signs seriously; they may save your life.
Controlling/Blames others/Threats of Violence
Most times, you will not see these signs in the beginning when he is trying to impress you. You will begin to see him getting agitated when he lets his guard down and it may show up when he yells at the store clerk for making a mistake or yell at you for burning supper or showing up late. He may make a verbal threat to hurt you and then quickly dismiss it saying he was just kidding. This type of behavior does not get better without treatment and willingness to really change. Be aware that he can warn you several times that he may be physically abusive before he actually hits you.
Unrealistic Expectations/Blaming others
If he follows behind you while you do something to make sure, you have done it right. If he is a neat freak and expects you to be the same. This is very controlling. He will blame you and everyone else for everything that is wrong in his life. Nothing will ever be his fault and most times, it will be yours.
Cruelty to animals and children
This is a Hugh sign. If a man is mean to a child or an animal what on earth is going to keep him from hurting you? Do not allow in your life what you would never think of doing. Do not regret the damage this will do to the children you have now, or the children you may have together. Do not think that he will never harm his own children, just say NO.
The above are signs that I saw but never took notice of at the time. Looking back my husband had most signs of potential violence and he lived up to each and ever one of them.
If you want a direct email response you must note that it is safe for you to receive email on this topic. Women still in abuse should never let abuser know she is talking to others about the abuse, it could kill you.