Date: Oct 12, 2007 9:46 PM: I received the following email from a reader and domestic violence survivor. I am posting the email because I think that many who seek support on this blog will find it helpful. If you have anything you would like to share please post it here. Remember, by posting you are giving me permission to print/use your emails. If you don’t want them shared simply tell me. Only first names will be used unless you tell me different. Your emails will NEVER be shared.
|I thought my last straw would be something alot more significant. There were no Police, my children were not crying, I was not crying. It was as simple as a sleepover at a friend’s house (we all were going) and as usual, he freaked out. He yelled about how he wanted to see his kids and that I had no right to take them away. I tried to compare it to a sleepover at their Grandma’s house but it didn’t matter, he just kept yelling. And at that moment, all I felt was this huge disconnect. His voice became distant, it didn’t matter how loud he was screaming, I was so far away and at that moment I decided that I wasn’t coming home. That as long as the three of us got out of that house ok, that I would NOT come back. It didn’t matter where we went, where we slept, my parents, my friends, my friends house down the shore (had to do that sometimes so he wouldn’t find us), a cardboard box, didn’t matter, I just wasn’t coming home.
I have been separated 4 and a half years, divorced almost 3.
I have amazing 8 year old Twin Boys!!!
The difference is inexplicable. Through all of the outreach programs, (we went to many) both for myself and for them, we all managed a way to control and recognize our own behaviors. They have learned what is okay and not okay as far as anger and violence is concerned.
I believe that they are such fine, upstanding young men and I am proud of THEIR accomplishments because it has been a rough road for them.
They keep me going, I promised myself and God that if I were to get out of this, that I would always be okay if it was always just the three of us. I know that I made the right choice for us and it gets so hard sometimes, but now I have peace in my life that I never had with him.
Just listen to that inner voice, we all have it and when it tells you that this is the time to go, just go and don’t ever look back!! Sonetimes you need a plan first, I did and it ended up working out. Have support, local shelters, community organizations, friends, relatives, co-workers. Do not be ashamed because you have done nothing wrong!!