Hey Guys, this is Rebecca, I thought that I would try something new today and leave a voice post. The last straw has been online for around 6-7 years now and the response has been overwhelming. The idea that I had was that you can just hit the button and listen, rather than reading the post, I will do my best to then transcribe the messages when time allows for those who prefer to read, my thought was that you would be better able to absorb the message if you could just close your eyes and listen. Now remember, the recordings are live and I won’t have the chance to edit them so please go easy on me as they won’t be perfect but my goal is in the message. No one is perfect and that is perfectly fine. Please, let me know what you think, after all, I am here to support you.
Ok with that said today I wanted to respond to a comment that a reader left recently about letting her guard down. She stated that every time a man gets too close she finds a reason to push him way, fearing that if she lets her guard down, she will be hurt. Well her words reminded me that I was no different, it took a wonderful man and many years for me to feel safe enough to even consider letting my guard down and allowing myself to love a man with all that I had to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I was celibate for ten years and for me, it was what was right. I always encourage women to stay alone for at least a year after suffering abuse, this allows you time to heal inside and find out what you really want, before you find yourself worrying about what your partner thinks, wants and needs from you. It is also a great time to find out your passions and mission in life.
Many women, myself included hear a little voice in the back of our heads that places a fear in our hearts that if we let our guard down, we won’t be able to escape if things go wrong. After all, we at times still consider ourselves weak for staying in an abusive relationship when we knew we should have left long ago. I knew for many years that I wanted out, but every time I physically got to the front door I was literally dragged back in, so for that, I feared ever opening that door to my heart and soul again, especially since I finally felt healed inside.
Well, come to find out, I wasn’t completely whole again because I couldn’t let my guard down. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes this is your wonderful gut letting you know that this is the wrong man for you, but I am talking about when you feel certain that this man is for you, he respects you, adores you and you have no fear of him and only desire to be with him, this is the man that you let your guard down for, but only, only when you are ready.
So, how do you do this, let your guard down that is? First, you do it in your own time, little by little. I will never forget when I told this man I loved him, I actually cried. Fear had kept me from telling him months earlier, it was as if I couldn’t keep in inside anymore, I needed him to know how I felt. I was certain he felt the same way and I needed to know. I knew he sensed my hesitation of letting my guard down but I could not keep it casual anymore. I can remember how freeing it was to accept the love all the way.
How do we do this? First, if we can never let go of our past fears we will never move forward. We have to allow ourselves to make mistakes, mistakes we can walk away from. No matter who you are with, you should be able to leave if and when you want to. I can remember wanting to run when we had our first argument, great loves argue, it is human nature. Well, he was upset and I wanted to run. I can remember thinking, I am out of here. I cried, went for a walk and realized that I didn’t want to be anywhere else. We talked, said I am sorry and moved on. That is life, challenges that you work through.
You decide when you are reading to risk your heart again, but eventually I pray that you do. It doesn’t mean he will be the one, but how will you ever know if you don’t try? You are stronger know than you were before. Just because you were abused before doesn’t mean it will happen again. It is really up to you, when you see the initial signs, if you do, run then, don’t stay around to see if he will eventually hurt you. This is when you listen to that gut and keep your guard up. It is when you really question and think, this man is the one that I want to be with.
I always insist that you put you first. If you are doing this then the rest will fall into place as he will be someone you want and deserve, not someone you have been stuck with or is convenient.
I hope that this advice has helped in some way. I want every woman that has dealt with abuse to find a man or woman that fills her heart and soul, for it really can bring you back to a full life. We all need companion ship, but mostly we all need love, so when the time is right let your guard down and remember, this man or woman should not pay for the mistakes of another or your past. Until they show you differently, you do not need to fear them. Always look out for yourself and your heart. Live the best life that you can and let love back in, letting your guard down will let the love in.
Love & Peace Baby,