Do you suffer with the anxiety of wanting something so much that you yearn and crave to be doing it every minute of every day? I do. I admit that I am a writer wanabee. I think about writing, I fall to sleep at night thinking about writing, I talk about writing; sadly, the only thing that I don’t do is actually write on a consistent basis.
This procrastination doesn’t affect anyone but good old me. One of my biggest fears in life was growing old alone, which doesn’t seem something that I need to worry about anymore since I have been blessed to meet the man of my dreams, but not writing is something that is allowing my life’s dream to slip away, one unwritten page and word at a time.
What do you go to bed wishing you had done? Do you want to paint, write, read, discover new recipes, do crafts, sing or become a pole dancer? No matter what it is the fact that you keep thinking about it means that you either have to let the dream go, or face it head on and buy the damn pole already.
If you could see me you would laugh, I am writing on my laptop, my new Toshiba tablet sits charging next to me and my new do everything phone that I can even type on sits to my side. I have a notebook in my pocketbook at all times and a pad of paper near my bed. There is also a small tape recorder in my pocketbook so that if a song or writing idea comes into my head I can get it recorded. The only thing that I am lacking is the persistence that is needed to make my writing dreams come true.
My dream is to actually write. Sure having books published and being on a best seller list would be free icing on the cake, but not the real reason that I yearn and burn to write daily. For me writing is like putting my soul out there for everyone else to see. Baring your soul can be difficult for most women. I am far from being a perfectionist but there is something about allowing others to read my writing that keeps the thoughts held back in my head at times. I get such a great response to my soul baring writings but at times I have to wonder, who cares about what you are writing about Rebecca? Is it just you? Then tonight I smarten up and think, so what, even if something is just for me, shouldn’t I do it anyway?
When I write to you it is not just to share my needs but to encourage you to share and pursue your own dreams and wants. I had read a quote somewhere that said you must have a goal at all times to lead a really fulfilling life. The quote didn’t go exactly like that but the meaning is that you should always have something in your life worth working hard at, once you reach it, you set another one. Most times we want something so bad that when we get it we are disappointed that we are not fulfilled. The key is to have multiple goals so that you are never without one.
What goals have you set for yourself today? What are you committed to doing to bare your soul? I have committed to sharing these thoughts with you which brings me one step closer to my dreams.
Love & Peace,