Posted in aftermath of abuse, anxiety, anxiety disorder, depression, domestic violence, domestic violence-healing, emotional abuse, healing from abuse, how to heal from abuse, rituals, self help, surviving abuse, tagged anxiety, anxiety tips, how to deal with anxiety, self help, tips to survive an anxiety attack on October 24, 2018| 1 Comment »
Okay, I hate my life, my job sucks, the kids are fighting, I have no money, I can’t breathe, my chest hurts, Oh my God I think I will die, I can’t breathe ….
I could work myself up into quite a tizzy on a moment’s notice and didn’t realize that I had the control to stop the anxiety attack. To this day I am thankful that I found the ways to grow stronger as a woman, especially in the aftermath of the abuse I lived through for years. Click here to read more
Posted in aftermath of abuse, anxiety disorder, domestic violence, domestic violence-healing, Goal Setting, healing from abuse, how to heal from abuse, inspirational, Inspire/Motivate, motivational, Resources, rituals, self help, tagged baby step goal setting, Goal Setting, goal setting for women, how to move on after abuse, how to set goals, listing tolerations, self help, toleration listing on November 19, 2017| 6 Comments »
Stop Tolerating – Start Living. My favorite time of the year is the week between Christmas and the New Year, during that time I decide what my major 3 goals will be for the following year, one thing I strive to do is have them all written down and set in Stone by New Years day or that week at the latest, by set in stone I mean they have been written in my goal journal and entered into a PowerPoint that I update yearly and as my goals change, posted on the bathroom mirror and written somewhere so that I see them from my bed.
to read the full article click here
Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Posted in anxiety disorder, tagged anxiety attacks, anxiety disorder, how to survive an anxiety attack, tips to help anxiety on June 30, 2007| 21 Comments »
Okay, I hate my life, my job sucks, the kids are fighting, I have no money, I can’t breathe, my chest hurts, Oh my God I think I will die, I can’t breathe ….
Does that sound familiar? It sure does to me.
I could work myself up into quit a tizzy on a moment’s notice and didn’t realize that I had the control to stop the anxiety attack. Granted taking medicine for a short time helped but the trick to stopping the attacks completely was to learn what to do before one came a knocking.
Talk yourself out of the attack before the attack takes you out!
Just Breath.
Sounds like a simple solution but when you are having an attack you forget to breath. Once you begin to cut off your breath the attack goes full force and knocks you to your knees.
Take long deep breathes.
Even as the anxiety attack is taking hold, if you keep taking the deep breaths you will begin to take life from the attack and put the control back with you. Your body isn’t causing the attacks, your MIND is. You are thinking something that causes your body to react.
Silly but try to think of the anxiety attack as a physical being that is trying to steal from you. Don’t let it, stand firm and fight for your life.
The best tool I had was one friend that knew about the severity of the attacks. I could call her anytime of day. The poor thing would answer and I would be gasping for breath, telling her I can’t take anymore. She would coach me through the attack and back to sanity.
She would tell me to breath.
Then she would ask what was really wrong.
I would tell her and she would always say, okay, is your son safe, are you safe, is anyone in danger, is this issue going to end the world, will you die because of this and so on, helping me to realize that what ever was causing my attack wasn’t the end of the world.
I swear just being asked those questions usually helped me to calm down. Eventually as I learned to ask myself those same questions I didn’t need to call my friend each time.
Sometimes, no matter how hard I tried I just needed to break something. I don’t know what it was, anything would work. It was usually a poor coffee cup thrown in the sink. Hated when it was a coffee cup I really liked. Eventually I learned to throw rocks at trees in the back yard. My son would often laugh at his silly mother and that would be enough to bring me out of it.
Find something, anything to bring you out of the anxiety attack. Take a nap, make coffee, take a bath if you can, put in a movie for the kids and sit on the back porch. If you are better prepared for the attacks they won’t last as long.
Love & Peace,
Rebecca J. Burns
Posted in anxiety disorder, tagged anxiety attacks, anxiety attacks after abuse, how do I stop the anxiety attacks, still feeling abused on May 27, 2007| 69 Comments »
I was thinking today about the first year, almost eleven years ago now when I had first been free from my abusive husband. Most would think it would have been the time of my life. Granted I was so grateful that I was not now dead and that my son and I were physically safe for the moment.
Mentally I suffered as if I was still being abused. I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at night for years because for the last year of our marriage my husband would get drunk and then torment me for all hours of the night, jumping on top of me while I slept and jabbing me with knifes telling me to scream because he would just slice my throat as the police pulled in.
Being abused in this manner is like being kidnapped and tortured for ransom but you will never have enough to pay off the kidnapper.
So what did this blog hope to accomplish? Just that even though you are away from your abuser give you self some slack, everything will not be suddenly better over night. It takes lots of self love and forgiveness. It was easier for me to forgive my abuser than it was to forgive myself. After all he was a drunk and a fool. What was my excuse?
Even after all this time this is still such a part of me. I hope that this blog is helping those who come. I am always amazed at how many are reading it. If there is anything that I can provide here please feel free to just ask.
If you are still suffering years after the abuse seek treatment, the anxiety can be managed. I refused medication for years and finally gave in. I was only on it for a short time and it helped me deal with the anxiety while I learned the coping skills I still use today.
