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Archive for the ‘anxiety disorder’ Category

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Stop Tolerating – Start Living. My favorite time of the year is the week between Christmas and the New Year, during that time I decide what my major 3 goals will be for the following year, one thing I strive to do is have them all written down and set in Stone by New Years day or that week at the latest, by set in stone I mean they have been written in my goal journal and entered into a Power Point that I update yearly and as my goals change, posted on the bathroom mirror and written somewhere so that I see them from my bed.

Yes, I have a PowerPoint for my goals, even though I am not an A type personality I find that if something isn’t visual, I will forget to look at it and with goals, we all know we must look at them often.

Finding a way that will keep you focused on your goals is important so find something that works for you. This post contains several things that I do and have done in the past to keep me focused, my goal and hope is that one or more work for you.

I started writing down my goals down over 20 years ago, thanks to my younger sister who knew exactly what I needed to move on after my husband had been removed from my home. I was suddenly free from a man that I begged God to free me from for many years and now I sat alone with my four year old son and I was clueless on what to do next.

Tolerations_Goal_Setting

Back to the goals, I had never really heard about goals and didn’t know where to begin until my sister gave me an Anthony Robbins 30 day program to get my life back on track.

I honestly listened to each cassette tape and wrote the exercises in a notebook daily. Some days I would listen to 2 tapes as I could feel the change in my mind.

The powerful realization that I could control what I thought about was like discovering the reason for my life. It had never occurred to me that I could somehow control what I thought about and focused on.

Like many of you I had lived a life of daily, sometimes hourly survival that I never had the time to sit and reflect on what I wanted my life to someday be, I just knew what I didn’t want it to be. Setting long term goals was the furthest thing from my mind. I was happy when the first thing that I was asked to do was to write down a list of what I would no longer tolerate, so that is where I would like you to begin today if you have never set any goals.

Take out a sheet of paper or open your computer or print out this Toleration_List_Worksheet and write the things that you will no longer tolerate from this day going forward, write until you have completely emptied out your head. Way back when I first started I wrote things like, no more anxiety attacks, never letting my husband back into my life, no longer being afraid to sleep in my bed. Since I was not yet ready to focus on a long term goal, deciding what I would no longer tolerate was something that I felt I was able to control. This is like baby steps for taking back control of your life.

Next, go through the sheet of toleration’s and pick the top 3 that must happen in order for your life to move forward. Save the others for another time, when you have removed the first three. Then write out the top 3 toleration’s on the top of a page as your top 3 goals. Underneath each one write why you will no longer tolerate this item, be clear on how if they are removed your life will change, Clarity is King. Finally, write what you will do to remove this toleration from your life.

For example, I knew that I needed and wanted to stop having anxiety attacks as I brought most of them on myself. I would continue to play the same record repeatedly in my head until I was unable to function.

By removing this from my life I would be able to take control of my life better.

I made a plan that I would allow my self to the count of 5 to dwell on something that upset me, then I had to stop thinking about it. I know that sounds silly, but after a few weeks at this it seemed to work, not always but most times I succeeded on changing the record in my head.

To help others that are trying to set goals, please share what 3 top toleration’s you will remove from your life starting today. For me, in the year 2018, my toleration’s are: no more chunks of wasted down time, I will make sure this doesn’t happen as I will consistently plan my 15 Minutes to Thrive where I write out what I will spend at least 15 minutes on each day that week to reach my goal.  I will no longer tolerate not being in peak health at 53 and I will no longer tolerate working for someone else. This helped me create my top 3 goals, for some of you there may be no need to create a list of tolerations, you may now with certainty what your top 3 goals are, great, have at it.

Decide today, will you tolerate and waste another day of your life by allowing things you don’t want to continue or will you remove that toleration from your life today? Please share your toleration list to inspire others.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

 

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I was kindly asked to post the following press release and felt that it would be a nice cause to promote.  I encourage you to pass it on.
Rebecca
For Immediate Release Contact:
Mary Anne Morrow
Tel: 602-332-9026 prmaryanne@earthlink.net
Treatment Center, Remuda Ranch Special Free Screening of Film “America The Beautiful” to Commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Nation’s Leading Eating Disorder Special Guest Director Darryl Roberts, to Hold Panel Discussion About Film and Eating Disorders in Pittsburgh, August 19 Phoenix, July 19, 2010 — Since 1990, Remuda Ranch Programs for Eating and Anxiety Disorders  http://www.remudaranch.com/ , has treated more than 10,000 patients suffering from anorexia, bulimia, anxiety and related issues.
On Thursday, August 19, Remuda Ranch will celebrate its 20th anniversary with a special free screening of the documentary, “America The Beautiful” ( www.americathebeautifuldoc.com), at the Melwood Screening Room, Pittsburgh Filmmakers, 477 Melwood Ave. in Pittsburgh.  Remuda Ranch is the sponsor of the film’s new PG-13 version.  The documentary examines the question “Is America Obsessed with Beauty?” Darryl Roberts, the film’s director, and Dr. Deborah Russo, staff psychologist at Remuda Ranch, will be holding a panel discussion after the screening to discuss the film and related topics.   -more- Come and Experience “America The Beautiful”When:   Thursday, August 19, 6:30 p.m. Reception 7:30 p.m. Film Screening
Where:  Melwood Screening Room, Pittsburgh Filmmakers 477 Melwood Ave. Pittsburgh, PA 15213 Tel: 412-681-5449  To RSVP, please e-mail Nancy Berry at nancy.berry@remudaranch.com by August 13, 2010.
Refreshments and appetizers will be provided. About Remuda Ranch Programs for Eating and Anxiety Disorders Remuda Ranch  http://www.remudaranch.com/ offers inpatient and residential programs for individuals of all faiths suffering from eating or anxiety disorders.   Each patient is treated by a multi-disciplinary team including a Psychiatric and a Primary Care Provider, Registered Dietitian, Masters Level therapist, Psychologist and Registered Nurse. The professional staff equips each patient with the right tools to live a healthy, productive life.  For more information, call 1-800-445-1900 or visit www.remudaranch.com . ###

CO-SPONSOR OF THE EVENT
The Sharon Fisher Bassett Memorial Fund  which was founded in  September 2005 to fight Domestic Violence and Eating Disorders. We are  dedicated to raising community awareness concerning domestic violence, sexual abuse, sexual assault and their connection to eating disorders. This awareness can be achieved through educating individuals, families, schools, universities, civic organizations and communities on local, regional and national levels. By promoting, organizing and financially supporting forums, lectures, workshops and other community projects and programs we believe that a deeper consciousness can be gained on all levels, attitudes can be enlightened, healthier choices can be made and lives can be changed.Changing lives one day at a time.
As an outreach from our first magazine The one I started a section entitled Picking up the pieces for women and professionals to write about Domestic Violence and Eating Disorders. There are several contributions from Remuda Ranch which can be seen on our website launched April 30 2009 www.aroseforsharon.org You may contact us through the website or by email mbkaminski@tds.net MaryAnne@aroseforsharon.org 570-356-2962 or 570-594-7504
Mike Kaminski Founder
Mary Anne Mackey-Wisor Vice President

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I came across the following and wanted to make sure to share my find since I feel it may help even one reader.
Abuse Sanctuary

Coping with Sexual Anorexia and Aversion
by Rob Jackson, MS, LPC, LMHC, NCC

Note: Given the brevity of the article, it is not possible to cover all the facets of this disorder. Anyone suspecting he or she has this condition is strongly encouraged to speak with a professional counselor.

A review of the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is sobering. Research has identified numerous detrimental effects:

* low self-esteem,
* social and economic failure,
* social insecurity and isolation,
* difficulties with intimacy,
* sexual problems,
* depression,
* anxiety,
* substance abuse,
* eating disorders,
* post traumatic stress,
* pessimism,
* an increased likelihood of being taken advantage of by a sexual predator,
* a sense of helplessness, and
* an increased likelihood of being raped or being the victim of domestic violence.

The apparent common denominator in these conditions is the profound injury done to one’s ability to trust and attach to another human being.

While it is generally recognized that abused males have a more difficult recovery from CSA, I find there are two conditions that are more prevalent among female survivors. These conditions are sexual anorexia and sexual aversion disorder.

Sexual Anorexia

You may be more familiar with the type of anorexia that occurs when a person, usually a young woman, obsesses over how to avoid food. Over time, this condition can lead to numerous health concerns – and can even be fatal, as shown by the 1983 death of singer Karen Carpenter. This condition has a parallel known as sexual anorexia.

Sexual anorexia occurs when a person – again, most often a woman – fails to possess a healthy, sexual desire. This person will most likely be unaware of the hidden drivers that compel her behaviors. These victims can be in otherwise loving marriages, but have no interest in expressing any type of sexuality. They will often fail to initiate sexual contact, but usually report that once sex is underway, they are able to enjoy the exchange.

visit the site for the rest of the article and more informative information.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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Okay, I hate my life, my job sucks, the kids are fighting, I have no money, I can’t breathe, my chest hurts, Oh my God I think I will die, I can’t breathe ….

Does that sound familiar? It sure does to me.

I could work myself up into quit a tizzy on a moment’s notice and didn’t realize that I had the control to stop the anxiety attack. Granted taking medicine for a short time helped but the trick to stopping the attacks completely was to learn what to do before one came a knocking.

Talk yourself out of the attack before the attack takes you out!
Just Breath.
Sounds like a simple solution but when you are having an attack you forget to breath. Once you begin to cut off your breath the attack goes full force and knocks you to your knees.

Take long deep breathes.
Even as the anxiety attack is taking hold, if you keep taking the deep breaths you will begin to take life from the attack and put the control back with you. Your body isn’t causing the attacks, your MIND is. You are thinking something that causes your body to react.

Silly but try to think of the anxiety attack as a physical being that is trying to steal from you. Don’t let it, stand firm and fight for your life.
The best tool I had was one friend that knew about the severity of the attacks. I could call her anytime of day. The poor thing would answer and I would be gasping for breath, telling her I can’t take anymore. She would coach me through the attack and back to sanity.

She would tell me to breath.
Then she would ask what was really wrong.

I would tell her and she would always say, okay, is your son safe, are you safe, is anyone in danger, is this issue going to end the world, will you die because of this and so on, helping me to realize that what ever was causing my attack wasn’t the end of the world.

I swear just being asked those questions usually helped me to calm down. Eventually as I learned to ask myself those same questions I didn’t need to call my friend each time.

Sometimes, no matter how hard I tried I just needed to break something. I don’t know what it was, anything would work. It was usually a poor coffee cup thrown in the sink. Hated when it was a coffee cup I really liked. Eventually I learned to throw rocks at trees in the back yard. My son would often laugh at his silly mother and that would be enough to bring me out of it.

Find something, anything to bring you out of the anxiety attack. Take a nap, make coffee, take a bath if you can, put in a movie for the kids and sit on the back porch. If you are better prepared for the attacks they won’t last as long.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca J. Burns

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I was thinking today about the first year, almost eleven years ago now when I had first been free from my abusive husband. Most would think it would have been the time of my life. Granted I was so grateful that I was not now dead and that my son and I were physically safe for the moment.

Mentally I suffered as if I was still being abused. I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at night for years because for the last year of our marriage my husband would get drunk and then torment me for all hours of the night, jumping on top of me while I slept and jabbing me with knifes telling me to scream because he would just slice my throat as the police pulled in.

Being abused in this manner is like being kidnapped and tortured for ransom but you will never have enough to pay off the kidnapper.

So what did this blog hope to accomplish? Just that even though you are away from your abuser give you self some slack, everything will not be suddenly better over night. It takes lots of self love and forgiveness. It was easier for me to forgive my abuser than it was to forgive myself. After all he was a drunk and a fool. What was my excuse?

Even after all this time this is still such a part of me. I hope that this blog is helping those who come. I am always amazed at how many are reading it. If there is anything that I can provide here please feel free to just ask.

If you are still suffering years after the abuse seek treatment, the anxiety can be managed. I refused medication for years and finally gave in. I was only on it for a short time and it helped me deal with the anxiety while I learned the coping skills I still use today.

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