Posts Tagged ‘baby step goal setting’


Stop Tolerating – Start Living. My favorite time of the year is the week between Christmas and the New Year, during that time I decide what my major 3 goals will be for the following year, one thing I strive to do is have them all written down and set in Stone by New Years day or that week at the latest, by set in stone I mean they have been written in my goal journal and entered into a PowerPoint that I update yearly and as my goals change, posted on the bathroom mirror and written somewhere so that I see them from my bed.

to read the full article click here

Love & Peace,



Read Full Post »

Anyone can tell you to sit down and write out your goals, but many times just surviving and living the life you did has taken away your ability to dream of having more.

Even if you don’t think you have a dream or goal try finding a tape or cd that makes you feel totally relaxed.  Then when ever you are feeling stressed make sure to play that tape.  Close your eyes and try to think of what you want your life to be like.  Go wild, no one is watching.  Just pretend the fairy god mother is at your back and telling you to dream big.

Now, didn’t that feel good!

Now, the next time you are feeling anxious and dwelling on your past put in that tape.  It may not work for the first few times but trust me it will.

I would often send myself into a depression just thinking about things I felt I let happen.  I was the one that married the abuser, knowing he was a drunk.  I was the one that allowed myself to bring a baby into it.  I was the one…. you get the point.

Then one day while I was doing the self sabotage thing I realized that I was allowing the past to make me depressed today.  If I had just thought the bad thought and moved on it would have been fine.  But I would often feed into that one bad thought and eventually work myself up into a terrible depression.

So, my point if there was ever to be one:  find a way to stop the repetitive cycle of self abuse.  Haven’t you suffered that enough?  You are angry at times that you let another abuse you but you are most likely the worst abuser to your spirit.

So, find a great song, tape or something that when you listen to it it brings you to a place of happiness and dreams of a better life.  I actually find that when I listen to Yanni or a tape that I have from Riverdance I clear my head and feel energized.

Find what works for you but please, find something.  If you have a tip to bring you out of the spiral down before you start to spiral out of control you are better equipped to pull yourself back from the edge.

You are never alone and I always wish you well and strength to take back your life.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca J. Burns

Read Full Post »

I know that after being in an abusive situation, mentally, physically doesn’t really matter, you lose a lot of yourself. Remember, the person that use to laugh all the time and tell jokes, or the person who was always so cheerful and encouraging? I will never forget one time, about a year after leaving my husband when I was at a friends and we were just talking and laughing and she said, “It is so nice to see the old Becky again.” I almost cried, actually chances are I did cry. She was a gal that had known me since I was fifteen and for years she had wondered where her old friend had gone.

Back to what must have been my point: just as your self esteem and dreams were taken one day, one word, one punch at a time, it will come back one day, one word, one hug at a time. Start simple, baby steps. Take an index card, sticky note of piece of paper and write down the 3 most important things you want to change or to have in your life right now.

For example, mine were initially – stop the anxiety attacks, build my self esteem, find a job I love.

Now post this in a location that you will see several times a day. I suggest the fridge and the bathroom mirror. I see both of them often. The bathroom is great because it gives you those few moments when you are brushing your teeth or washing your face to read them and think about them. Then throughout the day you will be focused on those 3 top goals.

Now, even if you don’t do anything for a bit that is fine, remember, baby steps. Just having them as a thought is the seed that you want to plant. Then in a week or so sit and write down why you want each one of them in detail. No one else will read this so don’t hold back. Put what you will lose if you don’t have the goal and what you will gain if you do.

Most important, if you do nothing else, post these 3 goals and read them daily. Remember the past does not equal the future, so start today to make your future, you dream!

Lots of love and well wishes. You are never alone, you are thought of often. I really want you to succeed and see that being abused should never define you, but it will if you let it.

I have included my Focus Poem for you: Read this poem 2 times fast then one time slow, it will get you to focus. The entire poem is in the post just below this one or for the entire poem suitable for framing click the link below.  To purchase the poem on gifts go to blogroll and click on Dream Focused Store.

Click here for a nice selection of journals with Dream Focused poem and more to inspire your day

Love & Peace Baby,
Rebecca J. Burns

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: