Posts Tagged ‘how to set goals’


Stop Tolerating – Start Living. My favorite time of the year is the week between Christmas and the New Year, during that time I decide what my major 3 goals will be for the following year, one thing I strive to do is have them all written down and set in Stone by New Years day or that week at the latest, by set in stone I mean they have been written in my goal journal and entered into a Power Point that I update yearly and as my goals change, posted on the bathroom mirror and written somewhere so that I see them from my bed.

Yes, I have a PowerPoint for my goals, even though I am not an A type personality I find that if something isn’t visual, I will forget to look at it and with goals, we all know we must look at them often.

Finding a way that will keep you focused on your goals is important so find something that works for you. This post contains several things that I do and have done in the past to keep me focused, my goal and hope is that one or more work for you.

I started writing down my goals down over 20 years ago, thanks to my younger sister who knew exactly what I needed to move on after my husband had been removed from my home. I was suddenly free from a man that I begged God to free me from for many years and now I sat alone with my four year old son and I was clueless on what to do next.


Back to the goals, I had never really heard about goals and didn’t know where to begin until my sister gave me an Anthony Robbins 30 day program to get my life back on track.

I honestly listened to each cassette tape and wrote the exercises in a notebook daily. Some days I would listen to 2 tapes as I could feel the change in my mind.

The powerful realization that I could control what I thought about was like discovering the reason for my life. It had never occurred to me that I could somehow control what I thought about and focused on.

Like many of you I had lived a life of daily, sometimes hourly survival that I never had the time to sit and reflect on what I wanted my life to someday be, I just knew what I didn’t want it to be. Setting long term goals was the furthest thing from my mind. I was happy when the first thing that I was asked to do was to write down a list of what I would no longer tolerate, so that is where I would like you to begin today if you have never set any goals.

Take out a sheet of paper or open your computer or print out this Toleration_List_Worksheet and write the things that you will no longer tolerate from this day going forward, write until you have completely emptied out your head. Way back when I first started I wrote things like, no more anxiety attacks, never letting my husband back into my life, no longer being afraid to sleep in my bed. Since I was not yet ready to focus on a long term goal, deciding what I would no longer tolerate was something that I felt I was able to control. This is like baby steps for taking back control of your life.

Next, go through the sheet of toleration’s and pick the top 3 that must happen in order for your life to move forward. Save the others for another time, when you have removed the first three. Then write out the top 3 toleration’s on the top of a page as your top 3 goals. Underneath each one write why you will no longer tolerate this item, be clear on how if they are removed your life will change, Clarity is King. Finally, write what you will do to remove this toleration from your life.

For example, I knew that I needed and wanted to stop having anxiety attacks as I brought most of them on myself. I would continue to play the same record repeatedly in my head until I was unable to function.

By removing this from my life I would be able to take control of my life better.

I made a plan that I would allow my self to the count of 5 to dwell on something that upset me, then I had to stop thinking about it. I know that sounds silly, but after a few weeks at this it seemed to work, not always but most times I succeeded on changing the record in my head.

To help others that are trying to set goals, please share what 3 top toleration’s you will remove from your life starting today. For me, in the year 2018, my toleration’s are: no more chunks of wasted down time, I will make sure this doesn’t happen as I will consistently plan my 15 Minutes to Thrive where I write out what I will spend at least 15 minutes on each day that week to reach my goal.  I will no longer tolerate not being in peak health at 53 and I will no longer tolerate working for someone else. This helped me create my top 3 goals, for some of you there may be no need to create a list of tolerations, you may now with certainty what your top 3 goals are, great, have at it.

Decide today, will you tolerate and waste another day of your life by allowing things you don’t want to continue or will you remove that toleration from your life today? Please share your toleration list to inspire others.

Love & Peace,



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I have written countless times how much Anthony Robbins helps me to stay focused.  The last 2 weeks I have been stuck in bed with really bad vertigo, fun, not really.  I love to sleep but that was too much for even me.  Back to Tony, when ever I get in a funk, you know, the one that I have been in bed for 7 or so days, missed work, feel like crap, that kind of funk, I know that if I listen to Tony’s voice I will somehow snap out of it.  Sometimes I put off listening to him because I am happy in my funk, go figure.

Well yesterday was the first day pretty much I had been on my computer, finally able to read without the room spinning too bad, well I found myself typing in his website at www.tonyrobbins.com.  It had a new free seminar on the front page.  I have much of his material and books and often will go to youtube or Tede to hear new talks to inspire me.  I am writing today to suggest that if you feel like I do or need a good old kick in the butt to help you set goals or move beyond where you are today I encourage you to go to his site, enter your email and immediately gain access to the talk, I think it was around an hour, even though I have heard him say much of the same before it was the repetition and inspiration that has once been ignited in me again.

Let me know what you think, I would love to know if what inspires me inspires you.

Love & Peace,

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I know that after being in an abusive situation, mentally, physically doesn’t really matter, you lose a lot of yourself. Remember, the person that use to laugh all the time and tell jokes, or the person who was always so cheerful and encouraging? I will never forget one time, about a year after leaving my husband when I was at a friends and we were just talking and laughing and she said, “It is so nice to see the old Becky again.” I almost cried, actually chances are I did cry. She was a gal that had known me since I was fifteen and for years she had wondered where her old friend had gone.

Back to what must have been my point: just as your self esteem and dreams were taken one day, one word, one punch at a time, it will come back one day, one word, one hug at a time. Start simple, baby steps. Take an index card, sticky note of piece of paper and write down the 3 most important things you want to change or to have in your life right now.

For example, mine were initially – stop the anxiety attacks, build my self esteem, find a job I love.

Now post this in a location that you will see several times a day. I suggest the fridge and the bathroom mirror. I see both of them often. The bathroom is great because it gives you those few moments when you are brushing your teeth or washing your face to read them and think about them. Then throughout the day you will be focused on those 3 top goals.

Now, even if you don’t do anything for a bit that is fine, remember, baby steps. Just having them as a thought is the seed that you want to plant. Then in a week or so sit and write down why you want each one of them in detail. No one else will read this so don’t hold back. Put what you will lose if you don’t have the goal and what you will gain if you do.

Most important, if you do nothing else, post these 3 goals and read them daily. Remember the past does not equal the future, so start today to make your future, you dream!

Lots of love and well wishes. You are never alone, you are thought of often. I really want you to succeed and see that being abused should never define you, but it will if you let it.

I have included my Focus Poem for you: Read this poem 2 times fast then one time slow, it will get you to focus. The entire poem is in the post just below this one or for the entire poem suitable for framing click the link below.  To purchase the poem on gifts go to blogroll and click on Dream Focused Store.

Click here for a nice selection of journals with Dream Focused poem and more to inspire your day

Love & Peace Baby,
Rebecca J. Burns

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