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Posts Tagged ‘taking time for yourself’

It is amazing the small decisions that can really change your life, your mood, everything.  No matter where you are, there are decisions you can make.  Sometimes we are surviving in the moment and the decision to survive is all we have. If you are in that place today, know that it can change, I am proof of that.

Yesterday my family went off to volunteer at a Triathlon for the disabled.  I did not go as mommy really needed a just me day as I can’t remember the last time I had one of those, if you are able to make one of those happen, do it, even if you can’t have a full day, take what you can get, sometimes an hour or two can change your outlook and mood.

While my family was off doing good in the world, I was home thinking of how I could do good for Rebecca.

I had been struggling recently as I had been on pretty much bed-rest for 4-5 months with migraine associated vertigo, never heard of it, great, you don’t’ want to.

It is basically a thief that slowly steals your life and sentences you to dark rooms, headaches and sunglasses pretty much 24-7 with the bonus of feeling like you are on a very fast merry go round!

The good news is that I was able to return to somewhat of my normal life a little over a month ago but I have not been able to get back any of the focus I had before then.

Most days I was going through the motions of what needed to be done but wasn’t writing which is my biggest passion, of course I was thinking about writing because that is what I do, I think too much and often struggle to get out of my own head.

 

Well today was a different day mentally and I really don’t think this would have happened if I had been surrounded by others, the silence and solitude helped bring out a change.

I slept late because next to writing and my grandson, sleeping is my favorite thing to do.

Not long after being up today I had that normal urge to write, the one I usually push  down as it doesn’t’ seem as important as other things like cleaning the house, but today was different, I put my laptop on my bed and began doing some writing, nothing here just some other projects that began to get the juices flowing.

I hear of writers that don’t know what to write about but I never seem to run out of ideas, I just run out of the follow through to put the words on paper and sometimes to just hit publish.

After a little bit of writing I put Youtube on my tv from my phone, which I love to do and the video I wrote about yesterday that talked about how counting down from 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 can change your life.  The fact that I had gotten the juices flowing and then seeing a video that inspired me prompted the post from yesterday. You have a 5 second window to change your life, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …

Once I felt I had filled that void I had in me for sometime, I went to the pool where we live, they had just redone this area and put in those large cabanas like at a resort and I was the only one there on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, had there been someone bringing me cold drinks on demand, it would have been Heaven.

Actually it was, I took a nice dip just to cool off then I laid on the biggest bed and spread out.  I listened to Pink and worked on a much needed tan.

Soon after my guy and girl came home, tired as could be.  Unlike me, they worked very hard today, they gave out water and cold towels and assisted those that needed assistance to medical after a long hot Triathlon.

They came home with amazing pictures of people that looked like they had all odds against them but never let it stop them, it was very inspiring.

lady mentor

Back to my reason for writing today, this is now Monday and I was able to get up earlier, get a few things done and sit down here to write this, it may encourage you to take some time to yourself, it may not.

Having that one day to myself yesterday (which did not included chores) has helped to jump start my productivity again, something I have been trying to get back for months.

 

Again, it is the little things that matter and the little decisions that can change your life.  I am all about changing your life by changing your focus and that is so true for me.  You get what you focus on, stop focusing on what you can’t change.

I had often focused on a horrible past as it seemed to have such a strong hold on me as though I had never really gotten free.

Funny as I reread this for errors I wonder if I write all of this just for me, to remind myself of what is important. Writing is an amazing gift to give yourself, it is sometimes like a therapist but much cheaper.

I highly encourage you to write, even if you do not want to share it with the world you can journal privately.

Ladies, it is time to be free, if you are out of the violence and struggling to heal find some rituals that can quickly bring you back to this minute and what you want moving forward.

This was one of the hardest things for me and at times still is today but each day is that fresh start to create the life you want. How that ritual cup of coffee can help you stay Committed & Focused!

I would love to hear what you did or are doing now to get past your past.  What did you do to move forward and heal?  Have you drastically changed your life for the better?  If so, please share your story for others, stories that encourage can change another life.

May you get a few minutes silence and solitude today.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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It’s funny the pressure that we place on ourselves, even for things that don’t really matter, for example, yesterday, a beautiful sunny Sunday with the windows wide open and the perfect temperature outside, I cleaned out the clutter in my dining room.  Clutter keeps me from focusing on important things as the sight of it keeps me stuck.

Granted, the big goal this year has been to De-clutter all areas of my life, home included, this project has been going in since before the holidays and I can see the improvements.  With the De-cluttering I find that I am more focused on my goals and happier overall.

My dilemma, I went to bed cranky, sore and really tired last night after my day of cleaning. To make matters worse, I didn’t sleep well because my 7 year old had been promised, after days of begging, that she could sleep in our king size bed tonight.  I was thrilled that the night was tonight, especially since I knew with her in the bed it wouldn’t be a good night’s sleep for my boyfriend of I.  I am sure that this goes without too much explaining, arms flung in the face, knees in the ribs and such.

Well, I woke up pretty sore this morning and finally dragged myself out of bed, hours later than I had planned and there I sat in my usual position upon waking, heating pad on high, lined up with my spine and neck for optimal pain relief.  I have to take medication, too much of it, about an hour before getting out of bed just to get out of bed.  The point of this isn’t poor me or to complain, I just wanted you to get the picture of where my head is most mornings.

photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

I had my eyes closed and was drinking a great cup of coffee, I have totally perfected morning coffee and because of this, no one else makes or enjoys the coffee unless I have made it, the trick is in the cream.  Anyway, I had read somewhere recently that you should really savor that first cup of coffee in the morning, making it a daily ritual to really spend time with yourself.  For me, until I have had that one cup of coffee I really don’t want to talk or spend time with anyone else anyways.   When I say time with yourself, I don’t mean write a to-do list, but focus on how you feel and what is important to you.

This morning I slowly drank my first cup of coffee while barely opening my eyes, I am certain my boyfriend thought that I was sleeping, but I was in deep reflection mode. I found my mind drifting off to articles that I wanted to write and how much my body wanted me to stretch again on a regular basis as it improved my overall pain, and since I am about to turn 48 in a few days, the hitting 50 and feeling 100 things is creeping up on me.  I always say I have the spine of an 80 year old woman, the mind of a 30ish gal and the sex drive of a 17 year old boy.  Actually, with the exception of the old lady spine, the rest seems to work well together.

Moving on, initially I had felt a bit stressed when I had woken because first I wasn’t feeling great and I knew that I really wanted to finish clearing the clutter from my dining area but something happened as I sipped the second cup of coffee.  This cup was sipped with my eyes open and without much effort I suddenly got up, without any plans except to move, I got dressed and put my sneakers on. After walking the dog I took my seven year old out on her bike.  I put on my little mp3 player with all of my favorite songs that I hadn’t listened to in months and headed off for a bit of a power walk, something that I love to do but never do anymore, clutter and other agendas always seem to win my time.

photo by guigo

photo by guigo

Five minutes out the door, the fresh air in my lungs, my daughter singing and happy riding in front of me and a spring in my step, I felt empowered and focused, something that is so important to me and I realized today, must be fought for every minute.

For the past 20 or so years I have been a goal orientated woman, focused at times, would lose focus but always managed to eventually get back to where I wanted to be at that time.  The last few years, I noticed that it takes me longer to realize that I am not doing what I want to do, as if it suddenly I was angry at myself for placing the importance of the rituals that I used to do as they always pulled me out of a slump which benefited those around me because I wasn’t in as much pain and I was happier as I had really done something just for me.

So, after the walk, I sit here, writing to you.  The most important thing on my mind most days is writing, how much I love to do it, need to do and it want to do it, but like many of you, I don’t do what it is that my soul wants the most.

At times I find myself blaming others, my boyfriend wants to watch a movie or my daughter needs my attention or my son and daughter in law need something. Those of you that receive updates of the post here know that this past week I have been focused on removing toleration’s and setting weekly bursts of the 21 day challenge, well my challenge was to post here daily, well the other night I was almost talked out of writing because my family guilt me as I opened my laptop, saying that I was taking away from my family as they wanted to watch a Disney movie, something that I really wasn’t excited about.  I had begun by telling them it would only take me about 15 minutes to post, but their reaction caused me to shut my computer and give in. I finally posted but my point is that we can’t let others take from us what we really want to do.  We can’t please everyone for will never please ourselves.

Today, as I sit here writing I realize that it is totally my issue that I allow little pressures from others to take away from my goals and commitments to myself.  I am the one that decides how I will feel inside, just because someone tries to make me feel bad doesn’t mean I need to.  I have decided today to just politely respond, this is something I had already committed myself to do, the rest will have to wait.

You are important, if you don’t make time for you and your goals and dreams, no one else will either.  Surround yourself with those that support you.  I am grateful that I have others around me that support what I do (most of the time), I am the one that needs to get that old lady backbone to pull some of her own weight so to speak.  After all, my boyfriend went and made this great desk that I am sitting at typing to you know because he knew that trying to type sitting in a recliner in our living room or a kitchen chair was really bothering my back and with the rest of the family around I was never able to focus on writing much of anything.  So, here I sit, posting to you completed for the day, stretched, happy, self centered and doing what I really wanted to do today, write.

Yes, the dining area still has clutter to be cleared, but it doesn’t have the deadline or guilt that it had on me yesterday.  It will be there when I am done writing sadly, but the good news is that when I finally do decide to clear the clutter it will be when I decide to, no one else.

My advice today is, really enjoy that first cup of coffee tea or beverage of choice each morning and make that time an inspiring ritual. Don’t pull out your phone or computer and start planning the day, plan your head first.  What do you really want out of the day, what is your soul yearning to do?  Nothing else in the end really matters so nourish your soul so that you are better able to nourish the souls of those around you.

Share what secret passions that you are working on with us and let us know how you handle the interruptions and agendas of others as this is a struggle for all of us.  Knowing that others are taking the time to feed their own souls helps us as women to not feel so guilty for taking time for ourselves. Now stop reading and put your energy on your commitments, if you haven’t set any for the challenge yet, get going. What you want out of life is possible.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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