Who better to teach a boy to be a man than a man, a good man, a man that refuses to allow a boy, any boy, to grow up and become violent to another.
As a mother yes, I wanted to be the one to teach my son everything, his father was abusive to me and removed from my life when my son was 5, by the time he was 6, his father died. Even had he lived, his own father was not the good man to help him grow to be a good man.
Every child, male or female needs a same sex role model, it just makes sense. I can remember my son telling me, I like playing baseball with you mom but I just wish I had a dad to play with. He always worried that would hurt my feeling. It hurt me that he didn’t have a strong role model.
Now, fast forward, my son is now 23 and has a little boy, close to 18 months old, the light of my life, both of them. Five years ago I met the man destined to be mine for what I hope to be forever. This is a good man, a kind non-violent man. He has taught my son it is okay to be upset and angry, you vent it, move on, let it go. He has taught my son, even as old as he is now that it is okay to be himself, funny, computer geek and all. His own father belittled him when he was just 4 because he wouldn’t push a little girl down, show her who was boss.
Now, I feel blessed that my son is raising a gentle little boy into what will one day be another grown man, one that would never dream of harming another, let alone the woman or man he may love one day. It will just never be an option, let alone a thought.
My point if there is one today is that every young man needs a male role model, if you don’t have one in your life, find one, it doesn’t need to be your mate, I often hear of woman rushing to meet a man to fit this role, a family friend, older cousin, friend. Our children’s safety is first so we don’t just select anyone for this role,, most times the bond develops naturally.
Removing abuse from your young son’s life is the first step, then filling that male role with a strong male role model will be the key to showing him how a real man acts.
I am by no means saying that a woman can’t raise a strong boy to a man, I did it on my own, my son was around 17 when I met the man that has now become his best friend and role model, I am just saying as much as we want to do it all and be all, we can’t be a male role model and in my opinion, a boy that has seen abuse, needs to see the exact opposite in a male.
It evens the playing field, this is how we stop abuse, before it ever is.
For a great resource that inspired me to write this article today click on the link and visit Futures without Violence, a dream come true, http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/content/action_center/detail/806?utm_source=tw&utm_medium=tweet&utm_campaign=features
Do you have a little boy that has benefited from a strong male role model? Share the benefits this had for him. Are you struggling during the aftermath as you son no longer has his father? I always felt my son was better off with no father then the abusive one he had, that is not always how your little boy will feel at the time, if ever.
We do our best to escape the abuse and heal from what was and never should have been, let’s do the same for the littlest of men, our sons.
Love & Peace,