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Archive for the ‘Goal Setting’ Category

Rocker Girl

My littler rocker girl

Hello Ladies, Gents and young readers,

Today I just  really wanted to share a few moments I had with my 9, soon to be 10yr old daughter who has decided to sing for school on Monday, she has been singing since she was barely 2 and has the voice of an angel, I know all parents say that, but trust me, would bet my life you will be hearing her someday.  She sings all the time but struggles to sing in front of others, lately she has done better with that but had decided to quit this time because she struggled to learn the words. Ii was like no way lady, if you can’t learn all the words than you read the paper as you sing, everyone will love that voice and will not even notice you are reading some of the words.  This inspired her to keep going.

She going to sing the song from Frozen, not sure but should be called, Let it go as that is often said in the song.  I just sat in awe last night as I helped her practice.  Yes, her voice stuns me but her excitement over that one on one attention meant more to her.  Sing, dance and play with your children, keeps you young and they really feel that love.

What songs do your children sing to you? What dreams do they have that you eagerly encourage?   I don’t remember having an adult inspire me when I was younger or even as an adult, I had to find those things on my own.  What are you doing to be there for your children and yourself?

Love & Peace,
Rebecca
Gifts to Inspire

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Hello Ladies,

I have been following several really strong women over the years and wanted to share some insight from one of my favs, Sheree Keys, I encourage you to read through some of her posts, they often inspire me, below is one from today.

Excerpt from Sheree Keys – CEO, Author, Speaker

“When I actually listen to the infinite loving voice inside me instead of the small fearful one, life is absolutely magical and blissful. No one gets in our way but us. I don’t care where you are at in your life or where you came from… If you listen to the voice of hope that makes dreams come true, you can be-do-have anything you desire.” – Sheree Keys

Supporting You-One Transformation At A Time,

Sheri McConnell 2012

Sheri McConnell 2012

Sheree Keys – CEO, Author, Speaker

Visit her site at http://www.shereekeys.com/

 

Who do you read when you need to be inspire?

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

 

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set goals and move beyond domestic violence

set goals and move beyond domestic violence

Hi Ladies,

I recently created a facebook page to gather us as a group in moving forward from this point, it will not be a place to share our horror stories, we can do that here, the page will be for moving forward, sharing what you did to move past the abuse, what do you do now to keep your life on track. Help me show those here that finally left abuse and wonder, now what, how do I live my life now?  Show them your strength o encourage them in knowing they too can do this.   Please join the page, once you do you will have access to free ebooks that I will be adding, come today to get Inside the mind of Winners, great stories that inspire.  Please like the page to encourage others to follow.

https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.burns.967422

I want to see this community grow into the next stage of healing and support for others, help me do that.

I will launch my new site soon, it will be an amazing resource for you, join me on facebook so you will be the first to know it is ready to visit.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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Do you suffer with the anxiety of wanting something so much that you yearn and crave to be doing it every minute of every day? I do. I admit that I am a writer wanabee. I think about writing, I fall to sleep at night thinking about writing, I talk about writing; sadly, the only thing that I don’t do is actually write on a consistent basis.

This procrastination doesn’t affect anyone but good old me. One of my biggest fears in life was growing old alone, which doesn’t seem something that I need to worry about anymore since I have been blessed to meet the man of my dreams, but not writing is something that is allowing my life’s dream to slip away, one unwritten page and word at a time.

What do you go to bed wishing you had done? Do you want to paint, write, read, discover new recipes, do crafts, sing or become a pole dancer? No matter what it is the fact that you keep thinking about it means that you either have to let the dream go, or face it head on and buy the damn pole already.

If you could see me you would laugh, I am writing on my laptop, my new Toshiba tablet sits charging next to me and my new do everything phone that I can even type on sits to my side. I have a notebook in my pocketbook at all times and a pad of paper near my bed. There is also a small tape recorder in my pocketbook so that if a song or writing idea comes into my head I can get it recorded. The only thing that I am lacking is the persistence that is needed to make my writing dreams come true.

My dream is to actually write. Sure having books published and being on a best seller list would be free icing on the cake, but not the real reason that I yearn and burn to write daily. For me writing is like putting my soul out there for everyone else to see. Baring your soul can be difficult for most women. I am far from being a perfectionist but there is something about allowing others to read my writing that keeps the thoughts held back in my head at times. I get such a great response to my soul baring writings but at times I have to wonder, who cares about what you are writing about Rebecca? Is it just you? Then tonight I smarten up and think, so what, even if something is just for me, shouldn’t I do it anyway?

When I write to you it is not just to share my needs but to encourage you to share and pursue your own dreams and wants. I had read a quote somewhere that said you must have a goal at all times to lead a really fulfilling life. The quote didn’t go exactly like that but the meaning is that you should always have something in your life worth working hard at, once you reach it, you set another one. Most times we want something so bad that when we get it we are disappointed that we are not fulfilled. The key is to have multiple goals so that you are never without one.

What goals have you set for yourself today? What are you committed to doing to bare your soul? I have committed to sharing these thoughts with you which brings me one step closer to my dreams.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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It’s funny the pressure that we place on ourselves, even for things that don’t really matter, for example, yesterday, a beautiful sunny Sunday with the windows wide open and the perfect temperature outside, I cleaned out the clutter in my dining room.  Clutter keeps me from focusing on important things as the sight of it keeps me stuck.

Granted, the big goal this year has been to De-clutter all areas of my life, home included, this project has been going in since before the holidays and I can see the improvements.  With the De-cluttering I find that I am more focused on my goals and happier overall. No, again, this stunning photo is not from my home, but don’t you feel calm just looking at it?

My dilemma, I went to bed cranky, sore and really tired last night after my day of cleaning. To make matters worse, I didn’t sleep well because my 7 year old had been promised, after days of begging, that she could sleep in our king size bed tonight.  I was thrilled that the night was tonight, especially since I knew with her in the bed it wouldn’t be a good night’s sleep for my boyfriend of I.  I am sure that this goes without too much explaining, arms flung in the face, knees in the ribs and such.

Well, I woke up pretty sore this morning and finally dragged myself out of bed, hours later than I had planned and there I sat in my usual position upon waking, heating pad on high, lined up with my spine and neck for optimal pain relief.  I have to take medication, too much of it, about an hour before getting out of bed just to get out of bed.  The point of this isn’t poor me or to complain, I just wanted you to get the picture of where my head is most mornings.

photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

I had my eyes closed and was drinking a great cup of coffee, I have totally perfected morning coffee and because of this, no one else makes or enjoys the coffee unless I have made it, the trick is in the cream.  Anyway, I had read somewhere recently that you should really savor that first cup of coffee in the morning, making it a daily ritual to really spend time with yourself.  For me, until I have had that one cup of coffee I really don’t want to talk or spend time with anyone else anyways.   When I say time with yourself, I don’t mean write a to-do list, but focus on how you feel and what is important to you.

This morning I slowly drank my first cup of coffee while barely opening my eyes, I am certain my boyfriend thought that I was sleeping, but I in deep reflection mode. I found my mind drifting off to articles that I wanted to write and how much my body wanted me to stretch again on a regular basis as it improved my overall pain, and since I am about to turn 48 in a few days, the hitting 50 and feeling 100 things is creeping up on me.  I always say I have the spine of an 80 year old woman, the mind of a 30 ish gal and the sex drive of a 17 year old boy.  Actually, with the exception of the old lady spine, the rest seems to work well together.

Moving on, initially I had felt a bit stressed when I had woken because first I wasn’t feeling great and I knew that I really wanted to finish clearing the clutter from my dining area but something happened as I sipped the second cup of coffee.  This cup was sipped with my eyes open and without much effort I suddenly got up, without any plans except to move, I got dressed and put my sneakers on. After walking the dog I took my seven year old out on her bike.  I put on my little mp3 player with all of my favorite songs that I hadn’t listened to in months and headed off for a bit of a power walk, something that I love to do but never do anymore, clutter and other agendas always seem to win my time.

photo by guigo

photo by guigo

Five minutes out the door, the fresh air in my lungs, my daughter singing and happy riding in front of me and a spring in my step, I felt empowered and focused, something that is so important to me and I realized today, must be fought for every minute.  For the past 20 or so years I have been a goal orientated woman, focused at times, would lose focus but always managed to eventually get back to where I wanted to be at that time.  The last few years, I noticed that it takes me longer to realize that I am not doing what I want to do, as if it suddenly I was angry at myself for placing the importance of the rituals that I used to do as they always pulled me out of a slump which benefited those around me because I wasn’t in as much pain and I was happier as I had really done something just for me.

So, after the walk, I sit here, writing to you.  The most important thing on my mind most days is writing, how much I love to do it, need to do and it want to do it, but like many of you, I don’t do what it is that my soul wants the most.

At times I find myself blaming others, my boyfriend wants to watch a movie or my daughter needs my attention or my son and daughter in law need something. Those of you that receive updates of the post here know that this past week I have been focused on removing toleration’s and setting weekly bursts of the 21 day challenge, well my challenge was to post here daily, well the other night I was almost talked out of writing because my family guilt me as I opened my laptop, saying that I was taking away from my family as they wanted to watch a Disney movie, something that I really wasn’t excited about.  I had begun by telling them it would only take me about 15 minutes to post, but their reaction caused me to shut my computer and give in. I finally posted but my point is that we can’t let others take from us what we really want to do.  We can’t please everyone for will never please ourselves.

Today, as I sit here writing I realize that it is totally my issue that I allow little pressures from others to take away from my goals and commitments to myself.  I am the one that decides how I will feel inside, just because someone tries to make me feel bad doesn’t mean I need to.  I have decided today to just politely respond, this is something I had already committed myself to do, the rest will have to wait.

You are important, if you don’t make time for you and your goals and dreams, no one else will either.  Surround yourself with those that support you.  I am grateful that I have others around me that support what I do (most of the time), I am the one that needs to get that old lady backbone to pull some of her own weight so to speak.  After all, my boyfriend went and made this great desk that I am sitting at typing to you know because he knew that trying to type sitting in a recliner in our living room or a kitchen chair was really bothering my back and with the rest of the family around I was never able to focus on writing much of anything.  So, here I sit, posting to you completed for the day, stretched, happy, self centered and doing what I really wanted to do today, write.

Yes, the dining area still has clutter to be cleared, but it doesn’t have the deadline or guilt that it had on me yesterday.  It will be there when I am done writing sadly, but the good news is that when I finally do decide to clear the clutter it will be when I decide to, no one else.

My plans for now are to post here and work on that book that I have been writing since like forever, seriously.

My advice today is, really enjoy that first cup of coffee tea or beverage of choice each morning and make that time an inspiring ritual. Don’t pull out your blackberry or computer and start planning the day, plan your head first.  What do you really want out of the day, what is your soul yearning to do?  Nothing else in the end really matters so nourish your soul so that you are better able to nourish the souls of those around you.

Share what secret passions that you are working on with us and let us know how you handle the interruptions and agendas of others as this is a struggle for all of us.  Knowing that others are taking the time to feed their own souls helps us as women to not feel so guilty for taking time for ourselves. Now stop reading and put your energy on your commitments, if you haven’t set any for the challenge yet, get going. What you want out of life is possible.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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tolerations

It is 8 days into the New Year, normally during the week between Christmas and the New Year all of my major goals for the following year are written in Stone, meaning they have been written in my goal journal and entered into a Power Point that I update yearly and as my goals change. Yes, I have a PowerPoint for my goals, even though I am not an A type personality I find that if something isn’t visual, I will forget to look at it and with goals, we all know we must look at them often. Finding a way that will keep you focused on your goals is important so find something that works for you. I can remember many years back putting the top goals on yellow post it notes and placing them on the mirror in the bathroom to ensure that I would not forget them.

I started writing down my goals down over 15 years ago, thanks to my younger sister who knew exactly what I needed to move on after my husband had been removed from my home. I was suddenly free from a man that I begged God to free me from for many years and know I sat alone with my four year old son and I was clueless on what to do next.

Back to the goals, I had never really heard about goals and didn’t know where to begin until my sister gave me an Anthony Robbins 30 day program to get my life back on track. I honestly listened to each cassette tape and wrote the exercises in a notebook daily. Some days I would listen to 2 tapes as I could feel the change in my mind. The powerful realization that I could control what I thought about was like discovering the reason for my life. It had never occurred to me that I could somehow control what I thought about and focused on.

Like many of you I had lived a life of daily, sometimes hourly survival that I never had the time to sit and reflect on what I wanted my life to someday be, I just knew what I didn’t want it to be. Setting long term goals was the furthest thing from my mind. I was happy when the first thing that I was asked to do was to write down a list of what I would no longer tolerate, so that is where I would like you to begin today if you have never set any goals.

Take out a sheet of paper or open your computer and write the things that you will no longer tolerate from this day going forward, write until you have completely emptied out your head. Way back when I first started I wrote things like, no more anxiety attacks, never letting my husband back into my life, no longer being afraid to sleep in my bed. Since I was not yet ready to focus on a long term goal, deciding what I would no longer tolerate was something that I felt I was able to control. This is like baby steps for taking back control of your life.

Next, go through the sheet of toleration’s and pick the top 3 that must happen in order for your life to move forward. Save the others for another time, when you have removed the first three. Then write out the top 3 toleration’s on the top of a page. Underneath each one write why you will no longer tolerate this item. Then write what your life will be like if this item was no longer in your life. Finally, write what you will do to remove this toleration from your life.

For example, I knew that I needed to stop having anxiety attacks as I brought most of them on myself. I would continue to play the same record repeatedly in my head until I was unable to function. By removing this from my life I would be able to take control of my life better. I made a plan that I would allow my self tot he count of 5 to dwell on something that upset me, then I had to stop thinking about it. I know that sounds silly, but after a few weeks at this it seemed to work, not always but most times I succeeded on changing the record in my head.

goals

So, please share with others here what 3 top toleration’s you will remove from your life starting today. For me, in the year 2012, my toleration’s are: will no longer go 24 hours without some form of writing. I will no longer tolerate a cluttered house. I will no longer tolerate bitching over things that shouldn’t really matter (this one is totally on me.) I am sure you can imagine the reasons that I want to remove these things and what my life will gain by doing so.

Knowing that it is a struggle for everyone, no matter what stage of life you are at needs help in creating what they want in life can help you to focus on your needs. Decide today, will you tolerate and waste another day of your life by allowing things you don’t want to continue or will you remove that toleration from your life today?

Please share your toleration list to inspire others. Later this week, to help keep me committed to my writing toleration and goals, I will share how to set additional goals and share a 21 day challenge that I would like for everyone to join me in.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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© 2005 Eve Delunas, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Are you “spellbound” by your past? Here are three indicators that you are under the destructive spell of your negative past:

1. Certain situations trigger extreme, out-of-control emotional reactions. It feels as if you go on “auto-pilot” and have little or no control over the way you feel or behave once certain internal buttons have been pushed. For example, Marta trembles with fear at the thought of asserting herself with her boss, who overburdens Marta with an excessive workload. Joe goes into a rage when he believes he is being accused of making an error, however insignificant. Ben is consumed with jealousy when he catches his girlfriend smiling at a stranger.

2. All of the logical solutions and practical approaches to changing your out-of-control reactions have failed. Your head may say “this is ridiculous” but you can’t stop yourself from over-reacting with anger, sadness, fear, shame, guilt, or jealousy to a situation that just doesn’t warrant that kind of emotional energy.

3. You keep making the same unhealthy choices over and over again. Although you may vow that you are going to set a new course, your default mode is set on self-destruct. You can’t seem to keep yourself from repeating the same mistakes—even though you know better. Elizabeth continues to have relationships with married men, despite of years of heartache from other married lovers. Mark lies to his manager and coworkers, although that behavior led to Mark’s dismissal from his last two jobs.

What can you do if you are spellbound? Here are some steps you can take which will neutralize the damaging effect the past has on you:

1. Reclaim your power by refusing to think of yourself as a victim. This does not mean you deny the bad things that have happened to you. Rather, it means you embrace your wholeness rather than your brokenness. Everything you have lived has strengthened your psychological immune system. Recognize your capacity to thrive in spite of the hardships that have come your way, and watch your life begin to mirror your more empowered sense of Self.

2. Retire your need to blame anyone—including your self—for your present unhappiness. Blame only weighs you down with unnecessary baggage that inhibits you from moving forward. Release blame and feel yourself lighten up.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Everybody makes them—that’s how we learn. Stop berating yourself with your so-called failures, and use that extra energy to create the life you desire today.

4. Make peace with your past. If certain unpleasant memories still hold a high degree of emotional charge, let a qualified therapist assist you in healing those wounds to loosen the psychological hold those traumatic episodes have on you.

5. Change the thoughts you entertain about yourself. Monitor your mental landscape to avoid habitual, self-limiting ways of thinking. When you catch yourself engaging in old thought patterns like, “I don’t deserve to be happy” or “I’m not good enough,” deliberately choose new thoughts that feel better to you.

6. Stop using your past as a point of comparison to your present and future. No matter what you have lived before, today can be different. Instead of focusing on how your life has been, place your attention on how you want your life to be. Keep your eye on the road ahead rather than the one behind you, and watch your life take you to the places you have dreamed of going!

As you let go of your past, you free yourself to live the life you truly desire. Step into the Now, and discover the unlimited potential for joy that awaits you there.
===== ===== =====
Eve Delunas, Ph.D., 25-year psychotherapist, author, speaker Offers proven strategies to help you rise above your limitations and soar. To receive your copy of Breaking the Spell of the Past: Entering the Joyous Now
Go to: http://www.innervisionresources.com http://www.innervisionresources.com
Take a FREE TEST to find out if you are SPELLBOUND
Sign up for a free monthly ezine.
E-Mail: eve@innervisionresources.com
TOLL FREE: 1-877-9JOYNOW
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