Silence and Solitude are sometimes needed to know what to change – be selfish

Today I wanted to write to encourage you to make small decisions to help change your mindset and mood.  I remember a time when surviving in the moment and the decision to survive was all that I had, if you are in that place today, don’t give up things can change as I am proof of that.

While I can give great advice, I often struggle to remember it when I really need it.  Every now and then I get in a bad funk due to a chronic illness that I have, and I forget how much small decisions can change my mood.

Prior to this post I had been dealing with a bout of migraine associated vertigo, never heard of it, great, you don’t’ want to.  Vertigo is basically a thief that slowly steals your life and sentences you to dark rooms, headaches and sunglasses pretty much 24-7 with the bonus of feeling like you are on a very fast merry go round on the water!

The good news is that normally after a few days of bedrest and sunglasses I am able to return to somewhat of a normal life. The struggle is that after putting all of my strength into dealing with the vertigo for days, I completely lack any motivation or desire to work on anything else in my life, let alone writing to you.

Since I am no longer in that dark, unmotivated place I wanted to share my thoughts with you in case you are in a dark place. I know that many men and woman live with an invisible chronic illness and by sharing this I hope you will not feel as alone as I once did.

Well, as I write this for you, it is a different day mentally and I really don’t think this would have happened if I had been surrounded by others, the silence and solitude helped bring out a change.

Not long after being up today I had that normal urge to write, the one I usually push down as it doesn’t’ seem as important as other things like cleaning the house, but today was different, I put my laptop on my bed and began doing some writing on other projects and it began to get my creative juices flowing.

I often hear of writers that don’t know what to write about, but I never seem to run out of ideas, I just run out of the follow through to put the words on paper and sometimes to just hit publish. If you have followed me here for long, you know I rarely post, I wrote a lot, but struggle to then share.

After a little bit of writing, I put on Youtube which I love to do as it always inspires me (here is a post I wrote about from a great video I saw about how counting down from 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 can change your life You have a 5-second window to change your life, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …)

Taking this time today and enjoying the silence and solitude, something I often feel selfish by doing was exactly what I needed. Having this one day to myself (which did not include chores) helped to jump-start my productivity, as I shared this was something I had been trying to get back for months.

The reason I am sharing this is to remind you that it is the little things that matter and the little decisions that can change your life. I am all about changing your life by changing your focus. If is often hard to admit it but as the saying goes, “You get what you focus on, stop focusing on what you can’t change.”

For years I had focused on a horrible past as it seemed to have such a strong hold on me, it was as if I had never really gotten free.

I find it funny as I reread this for errors I have to wonder if I write all of this to remind myself of what is important. Writing is an amazing gift; I encourage you to write for yourself.  Sometimes it is like having therapist but much cheaper!

Even if you do not want to share your writing as I feel compelled to do, you can journal privately.

Ladies, it is time to be free, if you are out of the violence and struggling to heal find some rituals that can quickly bring you back to this minute and what you want moving forward.

This was one of the hardest things for me and at times still is today, but each day is that fresh start to create the life you want.

I would love to hear what you did or are doing now to help leave your past, in the past where it belongs.

What did you do to move forward and heal?

Have you drastically changed your life for the better?

If so, please share your story for others, stories that encourage can change another life.

May you get a few minutes of silence and solitude today.

Love & Peace,
Rebecca

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Learn to Stop Tolerating what you don’t want to start having what you do want

Are Toleration’s standing in the way and blocking your Success!

My favorite time of the year is the week between Christmas and the New Year, during that time I decide what my major 3-4 goals will be for the following year. I had never really heard about setting goals until a little over 20 years ago, thanks to my younger sister who knew exactly what I needed to move on after my husband had been removed from my home. I was suddenly away from a man that I had begged God to free me from for years and now I sat alone with my four-year-old son. I was clueless about what to do next.

She had given me a 30-day program and I listened to each cassette and did the exercises in a notebook daily. Some days I would listen to 2 tapes as I could feel the changes in my mind.

“The powerful realization that I could control what I thought about was like discovering the reason for my life. It had never occurred to me that I could somehow control what I thought about and focused on.”

Like some of you that read my writing, you may have lived a life of daily, sometimes hourly survival.  When you live that way you never have the luxury to sit and reflect on what you really want your life to be, the current goal is surviving the day.

For me setting long-term goals was the furthest thing from my mind when I started the tape program so I was happy when the first thing that I was asked to do was to write down a list of things that I would no longer tolerate in my life.

What does setting Goals have to do with Toleration’s?

Let me tell you, you can have the best goals in place but if you are tolerating lots of what may seem like little things, you are using your focus, energy, and space in your brain that could be better spent on important things like YOUR GOALS!

Start thinking about what you are Tolerating right now!

Toleration’s can take many forms, they can be physical actions that when you deal with them one time they are gone like:

• Your cluttered office where you can’t find what you need quickly
• A cluttered closet that makes you feel defeated each time you go into it
• Laundry that you let pile up for weeks so you can’t find what you need
• The hole in the wall that has been there for a year that if you spent 20 minutes taking care of it would be fixed
• The car that has been broken down for months that you need to get to the junkyard (you see it every day you enter your home)

Tolerations can also be less tangible things that are taking up space in your mind like:

• Being overweight and not taking any action to fix it
• Dealing with chronic pain because you are not exercising or doing the things that help you feel better
• Wasted days because you do not have a daily routine
• Making excuses about why you haven’t started that business or written that book
• Being in a negative mindset most days because you are not doing the things that help you stay positive

So what is the BENEFIT of removing Tolerations?

When you remove Tolerations, you are able to free up little pockets of space in your brain.  It may not sound like a big deal but if you add up all the big and little things that you are tolerating, you would be amazed at how much space you are taking up in your already full brain.

Take some of the examples above and imagine how it would feel to:

• Find the things you need because you have a routine where you do a load of laundry every day!
• Walk into your home every day without passing the broken down car in the driveway!
• Find the clothing that you want to wear in your de-cluttered closet!
• Waking up in a positive mindset ready to rock the day
• Know you have a daily plan in place to help you lose weight and feel better!

Are your Tolerations standing in the way of your success, freedom, and peace of mind?

YES! The reason that I refer to Tolerations as taking up little pockets of space is that I am a visual gal and this helps me to see how I am wasting my energy on things that I don’t need to if I just took some action.

For example, the cluttered closet on the list is mine!  I am currently tolerating a very full closet, while this may not sound like a big toleration for you, every time I walk in the closet I feel a little overwhelmed. To avoid dealing with this toleration I grab the same 2-3 pieces of clothing that I wear pretty much every day and get dressed.

The good news is that once I am out of the closet this toleration no longer bothers me.  Or does it? 

For a long time, I did not realize it, but when I was laying in my bed, even when the closet door was shut, I knew that there was a mess right behind that door.  Now that little pocket in my brain, without my even realizing it was not just thinking about the mess, but reminding me of how many times I had said I was going to create a capsule wardrobe and get rid of the rest of the clothing I never wore.

This Toleration was causing me to feel defeated, even at a time when I thought it was not even on my mind!

Now I am not just struggling with a full closet, but the disappointment that I am not following through on something that would be beneficial for me. Get the idea, I’ve learned to just Tolerate it.

So, the big question is, why doesn’t she just clean out the darn closet?  Well, it isn’t life or death, it isn’t hurting anyone and it is not urgent.  So instead, I allow this non-urgent toleration to drain my energy.

So what is the BENEFIT of removing this toleration? It will help me in many ways, not just by allowing me to find clothing that I really love, but when I clear out that clutter, I allow myself more time for me and what I really want.

Clear our your head by writing down everything you are currently Tolerating

First, take out a sheet of paper (if you join my list below you will get your Free Goal Setting Worksheets and Checklists with Toleration listing) or open your computer and write down everything that you can think of that you are tolerating.

This list should not be confused with a normal to do a list like do the laundry, clean the house or go shopping, this should be one time things, that if you removed them or rather stopped Tolerating them, you would be more successful.

Pick Your Top 3 Tolerations to Focus on

Next, go through your list of Toleration’s and pick the top 3 things that if completed, would take a weight off your shoulders and create a sense of excitement for you to move down the list.  Keep this list handy, once you complete 1 toleration, you will pick another one so that you always keep focused on removing 3 at a time.

Next, write the Top 3 Tolerations on the top of a page

Next, underneath each Toleration write why you will no longer tolerate that thing, be clear on how if it was removed your life would change, Clarity is King.

For example, back to my overflowing closet, my why is: I know if this was removed from my life I would feel lighter, I would be able to open my closet and find something to wear that I really liked and made me feel good quickly.  Once I got dressed the overflowing closet would no longer be on my mind. This Toleration would be removed from my mind.

Finally, write what you will do to remove this Toleration from your life.

My plan: I have a plan in place that every day I spend just a few minutes sorting in my closet.  I have started in one spot and am working my way around.  It doesn’t sound like much but each day I do this I may remove a piece or 2 of clothing and find something I had forgotten about.  I have already donated a big box of clothing and gotten rid of a few other things.  The best news is that even though this project will take some time to complete, I no longer have the toleration taking up space in my mind most days as I know I have a plan to remove it.

So why don’t I just take a weekend and clear out the entire close?  I have tried this in the past, it becomes too overwhelming and I end up just putting pretty much everything back in place just to be done with it.

Please share

To help others who are working to remove Tolerations from their life please share what 3 top tolerations you will remove from your life starting today.

Once I feel confident these items are no longer a Toleration I will move on to other ones. My current Top 3 Tolerations as of this writing are:

1. Cluttered closet (working on little bits daily)
2. Lack of daily focus (I have created routines and review them first thing each morning)
3. Not writing on a regular basis: (my routine – work on a piece of writing like this daily, even if for just a few minutes)

If you are working on your Tolerations and are ready to focus on your Top Goals grab your Free Goal Setting Worksheets and Daily Checklists to help you Succeed when you join my list at www..ReBeccaBurns.com.

Don’t forget to leave a comment with the list of your current Top 3 Tolerations and how you will remove them!

 

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Dream your Dreams ~ Inspirational Poem for Children/Dreamers

What do you do when you have a child but you do not know any nursery rhymes?  

You create your own of course.

I am sure I am not the first parent to create their own inspirational poem or songs for their children and I won’t be the last. The following inspirational poem, which then became a song came together one night, one line at a time as I tried to soothe my newborn son to sleep.  Today I wanted to share the song I wrote for my son over 27 years ago.

The really cool part was when many years later my daughter, with an unbelievable voice, sang it to me for the first time, it brought me to tears.  Crazy how things come full circle.   

My hope is that you and your children enjoy this inspirational poem as well. If you scroll to the bottom there is a link to the full poem that you can print.

Dream Your Dreams
© Rebecca J. Burns

Close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream
You can be anyone, anyone you dream
You can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone
Just close your eyes and dream your dreams
Let your imagination take control
Take you on adventures never told
Just close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream with me
You can fly above the mountains
You can swim beneath the sea
Its a great big world before us
Come along and dream with me
You can swing from every treetop
You can conquer every fear
There’s no need to be frightened
You’re not alone here in your dreams
Just open up your mind
And let your dreams flow through
It’s a great big world around us
Come on along and dream with me
Sweet dreams my little one

Click here for Free PDF of Image and Photo above!
You have my permission to print and use the poem for personal use only! 

For any other use please reach out. 

The Last Straw

Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt

I sang this to my son every night when he was a baby, I wrote it just for him. The poem is available on selection of unique gifts

Click on the following link to purchase this poem on a large selection of gifts!

Dream Your Dreams by Rebecca J. Burns

Close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream
You can be anyone,
Anyone you dream
You can go anywhere,
do anything,
meet anyone
Just close your eyes and dream your dreams
Let your imagination take control
Take you on adventures never told
Just close your eyes my little one
Close your eyes and dream with me
You can fly above the mountains
You can swim beneath the sea
Its a great big world before us
Come along and dream with me
You can swing from every tree top
You can conquer every…

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